As parents, when we think about bullies, a tough guy shoving someone into a school locker usually comes to mind. If we ask our kids, they visualize a very different person – someone sending mean text messages or spreading rumors online. Although the way bullying occurs may be changing, its harmful effects are still the same.

“Bullying used to be only a school-related activity but has now evolved to a 24/7 electronic problem,” says Charles Burda, MD, a psychiatrist with Adventist Hinsdale Hospital. “With today’s texting capabilities, bullying can happen day and night.”

When is it serious?
When it comes to teasing, kids will be kids. “Teasing is actually a normal, necessary developmental communication process that helps children build relationships and handle difficult topics,” Dr. Burda says. “What separates teasing from bullying is when the intent is to harm others.” Teasing also becomes harmful when kids use it to gain social power or take advantage of others.

According to Dr. Burda, one quarter of school-age children are either bullied or instigate it. Only about 10 percent of those who are bullied tell their parents. When children are bullied, they tend to be more anxious, socially isolated and have poor self-esteem. Bullies can also suffer from poor self-esteem or may be exposed to violence or family stress inside the home. “Bullying makes it hard for kids to function socially, emotionally and academically, which is why it’s important to identify and help kids in both of these groups early on,” Dr. Burda says.

Get involved
If you suspect your child is being bullied or is bullying others, Dr. Burda recommends taking a proactive approach:

• Understand what’s going on in their life
• Show them the differences between bullying and teasing
• Listen to and accept the information your child gives you
• Let them know it’s not their fault if they are the ones being bullied
• Develop an action plan to stop the bullying

“Keep your child involved in coming up with solutions based on what they’ve tried and what has worked in the past,” Dr. Burda says. With bullying, it’s easy to ignore messages and block people from calling, texting or posting comments on your child’s social networking sites. “When the bully doesn’t get a response or reaction, they lose power,” Dr. Burda adds. If necessary, communicate with your child’s teacher, principal or the parents of the instigator.

Stop bullying before it begins
To help prevent bullying, Dr. Burda suggests parents follow these tips:

• Help your child build their self-esteem by encouraging them to get involved in extracurricular activities
• Encourage your child to start new friendships
• Tell your child not to pass on mean messages and to always report bullying to an adult

According to Dr. Burda, the easiest way parents can prevent bullying is by being good role models. “Children are always watching their parents, so make sure you act like the person you want them to be,” he says. For kids who are facing the emotional side effects of bullying, Adventist Midwest Health has professional psychologists and social workers that can help.

Looking for a physician? Call 866-533-7968 to find one today.